Courage....

Courage...

Let's start this blog with the definition of courage:
cour·age noun \ˈkər-ij, ˈkə-rij\ Definition of COURAGE: mental or moral strength to venture, persevere, and withstand danger, fear, or difficulty

Now let's look at what the bible has to say about courage:
Deuteronomy 31:6 (NIV) 6 Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.”
1 Chronicles 28:20 (NIV) 20 David also said to Solomon his son, “Be strong and courageous, and do the work. Do not be afraid or discouraged, for the Lord God, my God, is with you. He will not fail you or forsake you until all the work for the service of the temple of the Lord is finished.
Isaiah 41:10 (NIV)10 So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

What does it take to have courage? Well according to the Webster's definition we must withstand difficulty....withstand fear.....withstand danger.

 Now how am I gonna do that? Not by myself, the bible tells me:
"for the LORD your God goes with you"
"Do not be afraid or discouraged, for the LORD God, my God, is with you"
"so do not fear, for I am with you"
"I will strengthen you and help you"

 Let's rewind a little bit in time.  Let's go back to December 2005.  I sat in a cold room waiting for a doctor to consult me on something that had me excited and joyous!!  Brian and I were praying and felt God leading us to have another precious baby.  Jenna turned 3 that year and the thought of another baby in the house excited us both.  We were more excited than anything when we both felt God leading us to that decision.  The doctor was very optimistic even with my previous issues.  Her optimism came from us not having issues when we got pregnant with Jenna.   Little did we know I'd be sitting on that table again in April 2006 getting an order for an ultrasound to see if a problem could be detected.  That day I would walk out the door with a prescription for fertility meds due to the results of my ultrasound.  We both were in a whirlwind of emotions.....what if this doesn't work?  what if it does and works too well and we end up with triplets or quads?  Months went by with emotions I never expected from that horrible medicine.  After just 3 months we realized that wasn't the action for us.  
December 2006 I sat back in her office an emotional wreck for that followup visit because I lost my father just one week before. We had numerous doctor's visits and went thru the usual steps for infertile couples over the next few years.  There were some breaks just because our emotions couldn't handle anymore and there were months of wanting that line to appear so bad our hearts almost exploded when it didn't over and over.  September 2009 brought new hope with a surgery that was not conventional but was promised to provide results within a year. Exactly one year later we got that line!!  Joyous and overcome with gratitude to our Lord and Savior we couldn't wait for the first appt.  Only that appointment would come sooner than we thought.  I had that feeling that something wasn't right.  Mother's intuition? Just female emotions?  No it was God, nudging me to take charge of my health.  After some issues that were being blown off we prayed about how to handle our fears that something wasn't right.  That lead us to some amazing doctors who immediately went into action.  Unfortunately it was to late and that precious baby was already walking the streets of gold.  Amazing peace and comfort engulfed us and we knew God had a plan at that moment.  We knew God was using this to show us something.  Only we didn't realize how amazing and how BIG the lesson would become.  We moved on, and exactly one year later, again saw that line.  This time we were a little more cautious until that first appointment.  The first appointment we saw our precious baby and that precious heart beating.  We were over the moon with excitement and anticipation to share with our family and friends.  And that's just what we did! Then that feeling came again....yes that one....the one that tells you something is amiss.  We lost another precious Angel.  But in came that peace and comfort again. In came the support of so many people we didn't have the first time. .Their hearts were broken with ours.  Only they didn't have the peace and comfort we had that passed all understanding. I can hear their words clear even now: "I don't know how you are being so strong.  I wouldn't be able to."  I couldn't give them an explanation other than God has a plan and His plan is perfect.  He is in control.  
We underwent some tests to try and find out what could be done if anything to prevent a third. We got answers and began treatment to prevent a third.  Little did we know within days of those answers God placed Luke in our lives. :)  He's amazing like that you know?!?! 
There are so many God details I'm leaving out and want to share.  I'll do that from time to time here.  Giving you a glimpse into our world and how God has touched it all along the way.  He gently guided us down this path and gave us the COURAGE to continue.  
I don't know if I'm the only one that thinks of COURAGE when I see a lion.  That's because of the Wizard of Oz:
 "You have plenty of courage, I am sure," answered Oz. "All you need is confidence in yourself. There is no living thing that is not afraid when it faces danger. The true courage is in facing danger when you are afraid, and that kind of courage you have in plenty." 
I believe that confidence in yourself comes from God.  Knowing we are made in His likeness and we can do anything thru Him who gives us strength.  We use courage to face the dangers of this life because we know God wouldn't send us somewhere without purpose.  I can't say I was never afraid....that I didn't have difficulty in the journey.....or that I was never in the danger zone.  One thing I can say is when I was afraid, did have difficulty and was in danger, HE gave me courage.  He gave me the peace and comfort only HE could provide.  
Here's a picture of our precious Luke in his Lion costume. Seeing him in that costume made me realize, COURAGE is what it's taken us to get this far in our journey and it's what it's going to take to get us through the next part. 
This is what COURAGE means to me:
Being focused on the one who had ultimate COURAGE when He hung on the cross, will push out all fear and allows us to persevere and withstand the dangers and difficulties of this life. 

 COURAGE....so glad my courage comes from one greater than any fear, danger or difficulty I'll ever face!