Thankful.....

Thankful....

This Thanksgiving we had so much to be thankful to God for in our lives.  The most precious would be Lukas. 

Brian and I are thankful that God thought we were worthy enough to be the 

parents of this precious son we now have. 

Jenna is thankful that God gave her the little brother she's always wanted to be a second little mother to. 

Our family is thankful for the grandson, great-grandson, nephew, great-nephew and cousin they received when Luke came into this world. 

2 Corinthians 9:15 Thanks be unto God for his unspeakable gift.

 

Thanksgiving 2012 was the first one for us to spend as a family of four.  It was also a different one for us.  We spent it just us four.  Since Lukas is in isolation we couldn't spend the holiday surrounded by mothers, sisters, brothers, cousins, nieces, nephews, aunts and uncles like we normally would.  The Cardiologist gave us strict instructions "NO VISITORS. NO KISSES FROM GRANDMA.ACTUALLY NO VISITS FROM GRANDMA. NO TRIPS." this Thanksgiving.  He stressed the importance of keeping Luke germ free just as we have been. Basically don't let Thanksgiving be a weak moment to allow your guard down. 

It hurt deep in our hearts to not be making those normal steps to get ready to travel to the numerous places we traveled to in Thanksgivings past.  Jenna and I prepared our table with turkey decorations we colored and "real" plates which was huge because everyone knows a good southern MS Thanksgiving is served on paper plates. You know the good ones with dividers. :) We made a "Give Thanks" banner to remind us of the reason for the day.  We prepared a menu to include all our Thanksgiving favorites. Our main goal was to be thankful for God and the many things in our lives He has provided, has done and is doing.

1 Chronicles 29:13 Now, our God, we give you thanks, and praise your glorious name.

  We made our plates and each sat down at the table.  Even Luke pulled a high chair up to join :) And that's when we bowed our heads, and just as Jesus prayed and gave thanks, so did we.

Mark 8:6-7 He told the crowd to sit down on the ground. When he had taken the seven loaves and given thanks, he broke them and gave them to his disciples to distribute to the people, and they did so. They had a few small fish as well; he gave thanks for them also and told the disciples to distribute them.

Luke 24:30 When he was at the table with them, he took bread, gave thanks, 

broke it and began to give it to them. 

 I wanted this Thanksgiving to be remembered for something fun or a new tradition not just for the Thanksgiving we were in isolation away from our family.  So I printed slips of paper that said "I am thankful for......".  We all sat down the night before and each got a color and wrote on those precious slips of paper.  One was for each member of our family.  So I had one for Jenna, one for Luke, one for Brian. You get the idea.  One for something we are thankful for in our life this year.  One for something God did in our life this year we were thankful for.  Another was a random slip for a silly or anything goes thankful thought. 

We each drew 2 of Luke's and filled them out as if he did it himself.  After our thoughts of Thankfulness were on paper we enclosed it in the glass pumpkin on our decorated table for the next day.  As we gathered around that small table and ate our Thanksgiving lunch we each drew a slip that wasn't ours and read it outloud.  I have to say that was one of the most precious moments I think we've ever spent around that table.  Yes our hearts still hurt because we missed so many of our loved ones.  But guess what, we never would have gotten that precious moment to give thanks for each other and for the things God has done for us this year.  We would have been rushing to get out the door to go from place to place stuffing ourselves and going through the motions like always.  I can promise you one thing, every Thanksgiving from this point forth will be different in our lives. 

1 Chronicles 16:34 Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good; his love endures forever.

 This Thanksgiving we know the true meaning of "give thanks in all circumstances".  I can't tell you how many times over the last 3 years I've said "God has a plan and His plan is perfect.  He never takes us through anything without good reason."  If I've said that to you, please know it's genuine, its real raw emotions.  I KNOW that without a shadow of a doubt.  If you don't understand this verse below and need some examples BOY OH BOY can I talk your ear off with numerous ways God has shown us this verse in our lives.  We've been given more  "why is this happening to us?", "what could God possibly be showing us through this when all we feel is hurt?", and "good? seriously, how can good come from this?" moments in our lives over the last few years than we ever thought we could handle.

1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.

 

But guess what??? We were right!  We, as in "WE" alone,  couldn't handle those moments.  The only way we could handle those moments would be in the ever presence of our Lord and Savior.  Leaning on Him and trusting Him through every huge step, every baby step, every side step, and every stumble and trip.   And you know what?  There were alot of times we took no steps!  That's because we couldn't go on.  Couldn't get one step in front of the other.  That's when we didn't, HE did.  He carried us through those moments.  And sometimes in those moments He used our family, friends and church family to carry us or at least hold our hands.  There were moments when our church family sat with Brian as he processed the words the Dr gave just hours before letting us know our baby wasn't with us anymore and I needed surgery.  There were moments when family sat with me as tears filled my eyes as I lay in the bed on bed rest asking "Can I do this another day?" and they reminded me I could and would.  There were moments when we were given amazing medical team staff members, who we now call friends, that walked with us through the struggles of not knowing if precious Luke would survive the pregnancy.  There were moments when just a notecard from a friend or a text or a call came at just the right time to get us through the day when our emotions were getting the best of us.  And most importantly there were the moments when so many dropped to their knees (and still do!) to pray for us and for our family.  God used every one one of those people to carry us.  To carry us to the next step.  Or to hold our hand while we tried like toddling babies to take the next step because we weren't sure if we could by ourselves.  I'm so thankful God placed those people in our lives to be His hands and feet. We thank him for each and every one in our prayers everyday!

1 Thessalonians 1:2 We always thank God for all of you and continually mention you in our prayers.

We know that Luke will use ALL of his heart to tell of God's wonderful deeds.  We know Jenna is going to use all the lessons she's learned because of Luke's heart to tell of God's wonderful deeds.  And we will always tell of the wonderful deeds he's done for us because of Luke's heart and many others things most would think wouldn't have "good reason".   Because hindsight is 20/20.  We can look back and see the intricate detail God used in those moments to connect another piece of our puzzle and teach us something.  

Luke's heart condition isn't all bad.  There's good we see everyday from that precious heart.  His heart was created just the way the Master wanted it to be.  It's labeled a congenital heart defect.  Defect, well I'm not sure we can call anything God creates a defect. He made Luke's heart with a septum that stops and doesn't go to the top of the heart.  They call it a "hole".  He made both of Luke's outlets in the same location.  They say one outlet is "misplaced" or "in the wrong spot".  Those words hurt at first but now Brian and I realize God knit them together just the way He wanted.  He created Luke's precious heart to be unique.  I like to think Luke's heart has more to hold and more to share so he needed a light shown on it so that God's light could shine.  I know Luke and Jenna are not gonna let His light be hidden.  He and Jenna are gonna use this to let it shine!  And for that I'm thankful. And everyday I pray Brian and I allow that light to shine through us because we have so much to be thankful for and so much to share about God's amazing deeds.  The "good" and the "bad". We have our moments, we have our emotional breakdowns, we have our hissyfits, we have our hurts.  But at the end of the day, we have a God that never leaves us, never forsakes us.  He knows some of those moments hurt and that's okay because He uses those moments to 

remind us "Be thankful and never give up."

Psalm 9:1 I will give thanks to you, Lord, with all my heart; I will tell of all your wonderful deeds.